Blackagar Boltagon is King of the Inhuhmans Royal Family, as well as being a member of The Illuminati. Subjected to mutagenic Terrigen Mist while still an embryo, he was born with an array of powers, such as speed, flight, strength and endurance, but it is the capacity of his vocal chords to turn any sound into a correlative destructive force that requires his vow of life-long silence. He is married to Medusa, his cousin, and they have one child, Ahura. This interview was conducted by email.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
What is your greatest fear?
Whooping cough; I’d probably obliterate the moon …
Which living person do you most admire and why?
Eminem; he’s a fucking poet.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Always having to have the last word.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
What has been your most embarrassing moment?
Farting in the sound-proofed chamber.
What vehicles do you own?
I don’t need no car, bitch …
Where would you like to live?
Attilan. Why do you think I keep relocating and building it?
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
This damn tuning fork.
Who would play you in a movie of your life?
Ben Affleck. He could knock it outta the park. He’s got the gravitas, you know?
What is your most unappealing habit?
Picking my nose.
What is your favourite smell?
Terrigen mists. Perverse, I know.
What is your favourite word?
What is your fancy dress costume of choice?
You’re looking at it, baby; the blue threads are a classic.
Cat or dog?
Lockjaw, all the way.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Singing in a specially sound-proofed shower.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My sweet and lovely Medusa.
Have you ever said “I love you” without meaning it?
Have I ever said anything without meaning it?
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
You’re just taking the piss now …
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
A change in the laws of physics regarding the carrying of soundwaves.
How would you like to be remembered?
As a good king, a good husband and a good man. Without a tuning fork on his head.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Silence is golden.
(The questions have changed slightly from previous post, due to finding out the full list of official questions The Guardian uses from this post by Neil Gaiman, who recently answered them for publication.)